Are the End Times Near?

Natives awoke this morning to fear and pandemonium as a geologic feature that has bordered the Salt Lake Valley since the beginning of human settlement was......GONE!

That's right, the Wasatch Mountains were obscured entirely from view.  What sort of immortal could pull off such a magic trick?  Well, it turns out that this has nothing to do with supreme beings or the end times, but instead an extremely rare phenomenon known as snow.

Chances are you haven't seen snow before.  It's a strange substance comprised of frozen water (known as ice) that can take many forms.  There is the famed stellar dendrite, an endangered species once known for providing sublime ski conditions.  There's also graupel, a styrofoam like ball that is soft and spongy.  Photos taken from an ancient time show the remarkable diversity of different types of snow that can fall from the sky.  We're talking wizardry here!

Source: http://www.inscc.utah.edu/~tgarrett/Snowflakes/MASC.html

The ancients tell stories about how one could travel downhill through snow on long wooden, fiberglass, or carbon-reinforced planks called skis.  People liked it so much that they would either climb all day or shell out thousands of dollars for helicopters to transport them to the top of mountains just to take a few runs.  Just imagine!

In this case, the government weather wizards who control our weather are just trying to get a rise out of us.  The latest moving pictures show the band is moving quickly through northern Utah.  What a pity!

The weather wizards, however, claim we will se some snow showers at times through the weekend.  They say it won't be enough for us to experience something called deep powder skiing, but there might be a few inches for dust on crust.  Apparently these snow showers can be somewhat hit or miss, so they say to keep expectations low and hope for the best.